Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Come on in and take your pants off
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