U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Houston, we have a squirter
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
