we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
