a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
