She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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