I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize