I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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