so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
