i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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