VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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