I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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