..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
