Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
