I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize