I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
