Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
