I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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