where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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