I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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