I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
