id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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