He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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