3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
