no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
vagina is talking i cant
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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