When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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