Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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