Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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