It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
