so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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