I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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