WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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