She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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