When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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