I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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