I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
