i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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