scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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