operation harelip BJ is a go
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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