Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I have post one night stand depression
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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