but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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