I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
