You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
