on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
