i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
