I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize