just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im calling her cock vulture from now on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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