He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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