idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
