yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
