It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
