your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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