I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Are my feet made of real feet?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
