U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
