i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
