do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
