Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize