but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
