new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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