All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
