i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
