my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
