if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
