I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So here I am, sexting at work.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
