Sponge bath it is.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
