with your own penis?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
