You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
